ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
