Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
