Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Let the clothes fall where they may.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
