I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My pussy is not your playground.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
