No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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