girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize