We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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