My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
