Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we made out on top of his cat.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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