just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
