D3 body, D1 cock
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish I only lived at night.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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