one two three fourrrrnication!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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