Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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