Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
