butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
