Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I supernannyed him into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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