well you can't waste a boner
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
