was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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