i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
