I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
