He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
