3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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