Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
