I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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