She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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