Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
