yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
