it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
