i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
