he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
