Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
