I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
