oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My vagina just clenched in fear
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
