even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
