somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
