Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
