i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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