Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Can I color on your dick again?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
