I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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