SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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