she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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