He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
