Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
