his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
