he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
