What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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