Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize