So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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