Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
