suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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