She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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