Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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