sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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