Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
