i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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