We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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