I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize