I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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