Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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