Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
