so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
