I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
