You can't motorboat a personality
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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