You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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