Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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