I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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