You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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