We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
