Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
