well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
