Your dad touched me again.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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