i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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