I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Randomize
