Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize