I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
